In my opinion, the answer is a big fat ‘sometimes.’ Here’s why:

Breastfeeding is a feedback system. The milk removal and the baby suckling at your breast (whether the baby’s hungry or not) signal your breasts to remove milk. There are studies that indicate that the more a baby nurses on the third day, the more milk that mom will have three months later.

Newborns nurse between eight and sixteen times a day. Infants nurse between eight and twelve times a day. For an exclusively breastfed, term baby, the mom will have an increase in milk supply until about six weeks after birth, when her milk will continue to change in certain qualities (such as protein level) without the daily output changing much until the baby starts solid foods (ideally around six months).

When babies are tiny and want to nurse frequently, moms often say, “She’s using me as a pacifier,” but the truth is, the pacifier was invented to replace the breast. The baby being at the breast a lot is natural. And given the feedback system for milk production, use of a pacifier in the first six weeks or so of breastfeeding could potentially disrupt the baby’s weight gain and also disrupt the increase in the mom’s supply. Sometimes I have have clients whose babies are not gaining weight because of the frequency the babies are being given a pacifier. They are missing meals and the mom’s body is not increasing supply appropriately as a result.

If you have a baby who’s more than a week old who is genuinely nursing ‘all the time’—feeds are 45 minutes to an hour (or more) long and the feeds are consistently an hour or less apart—that often indicates that there’s some underlying breastfeeding issue going on for the mom and/or baby that needs to be addressed by professional help. A pacifier might hide the symptom but it won’t treat the underlying issue.

What does the research about pacifiers and breastfeeding show? It’s mixed. Some research indicates babies who get pacifiers are likely to have moms who stop breastfeeding earlier. Some research shows no impact. A bit of research shows that early use of a pacifier may encourage breastfeeding in certain circumstances. Mostly, I think, let’s be on the safe side, and avoid pacifier use in the first six weeks where it feels manageable.

So all of that said, there’s the ideal and then there’s reality. Early motherhood is about survival. In reality:

If you have a baby who wants to nurse constantly, and you need the baby to suck on something else while you take a shower, I think it’s okay to give a pacifier.

If you’re going on a drive in the car and your baby isn’t hungry but will scream the whole way, I think it’s okay to give a pacifier.

If you have a child who takes in huge quantities of milk at the breast—evidenced by the fact he/she is climbing up the WHO weight-for-age chart percentiles—sometimes the child will get a tummy ache from too much milk. What do babies want when they don’t feel good? They want to nurse. So if you have that baby and you need to give a pacifier for a few minutes to soothe the baby and keep the tummy ache from getting worse (it’s a bad cycle), I think it’s okay to give a pacifier at those times. (You may also need professional support regarding having a large supply or overactive letdown in that case, but not always.)

If you had a vacuum-assisted birth, your baby likely has quite a headache. Suckling soothes pain. In that case, if the baby wants to nurse constantly, I think it’s okay to give the mom an occasional break and use a pacifier.

You have entered a time period where you have a tiny human who is reliant on you all of the time. That’s often a hard transition, and you have to find the balance that works for you. If you’re nursing 8+ times per day, your baby is eager and able at the breast (not causing pain, not having difficulty latching or staying latched), and your baby is gaining an average of 30+ grams per day, then occasionally using a pacifier might be what makes this time period manageable for you. If you can wait until six weeks postpartum to introduce it, great. If not, do it earlier but keep these guidelines and warnings in your mind.

And if you’re going to use one, make sure your partner or support people read this so that they get it, too.